sanacrow

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

~ M. Scott Peck

... That's part of the "These Paths Are Not For Everyone" speech. Not that they aren't rewarding paths; not that they're never fun... but they are full of trials and annoyances and hard work, and dammed little in the way of objectively-identifiable rewards.

When most people are interested in my religion, I try to push them away. "Don't bother," I let them know. "Check out this new age stuff instead; it's got lots of good personal growth exercises & many people are very happy with it." And, "it's too hard to find competent mentors, and too easy to get caught up in other people's ego trips. Hell, it's too easy to get caught in your own ego trips. Go away. Do some nice positive visualization chants and wear a pentacle if you must, but stay away from the gods' they're not always nice folks, and they're <1>wierd.

Oh. Eris sent you, hmmmm? Well, ahm, have a Principia and a Drum Abuse flyer; relax and enjoy the ride 'cos the other options are worse. Melek's been visiting you? Err, I hope you liked it, and tell him that it goes better with a good lube. No, there's not much you can do to convince him to leave you alone, but he doesn't seem to bother people who don't have the *capacity* to enjoy his attentions...

The point is that the "trials", such as they are, come with rewards that may not be apparent from the outside. and we mention them early and often because right now, paganism is *flooded* with people who dislike Christianity's rules and restrictions and want a religion that allows their personal quirks *and* says "the gods will love and cherish you whatever you do, and they will shower you with rewards if you are faithful to them." People ask, 'why don't the gods comfort all those people who are suffering? How can they build a relationship with the gods?" (paraphrase, don't shoot me) As if building a relationship with the gods would ease their suffering.

A relationship with the gods comes with a set of rewards. We don't talk about them much because (1) they're different for each god, and (2) they're not obtainable by wanting them; you have to *build that relationship* to get them. They're also generally not negotiable; Kwan Yin offers compassion but requires it to be directed at others; Eris offers what's often considered insanity; the Feri gods offer beauty and power, but require a devotion to art and sensuality.

Mostly we give warnings about trials so that when people start on these paths they've got some idea of what's ahead of them. We don't need to tell people about the rewards; they'll find those for themselves.

~ Elf of Elfwreck

... JUST: (adv.) merely, simply.

I hate this word. It minimizes. It trivializes. "Just" do this, or that. It tells me the person speaking thinks the action should be easy. It ignores circumstances and individual capabilities in favor of a normative narrative of what "everyone" should be able to do. It also implies a moral judgment - the speaker obviously believes the course of action is not only easy, by their own arbitrary standards (usually heavily influenced by society's standards, of course), but the *right* thing to do. It erases conflicting emotions and tells you the choice should be easy, and therefore being conflicted about it is wrong. It invalidates peoples' feelings and experiences.

From a stranger or ideological opponent, it's sneering, condescending. From a loved one, it's even more damaging, a slap in the face. It is the worst word, a metric fuckton of condescension, patronization, minimization, trivialization, all wrapped up in four innocent letters.

So please. If you are ever tempted to 'splain someone's situation and the course of action you think they should take by saying "just do X", DON'T. No matter how obvious the solution seems to you. Just don't. Step back, think about why they might not have done that yet, and find a way to offer advice - IF they asked for it in the first place (which in my experience the object of this unfortunate phrase usually didn't) - that doesn't imply that the person is stupid for how they've handled themselves and their situation so far. Respect their decisionmaking process. Try giving them the benefit of the doubt - try assuming that they *do* know what they're doing, and that they *do* have reasons for handling things the way they have.

But for the love of all that was, is, and ever will be... "Just" stop.

---
from Jadelyn at Witch.Words

Has joined Ravelry: http://www.ravelry.com/people/Sanacrow

Not much there yet - the pretties I was gifted with this weekend, and the lapghan I just started. Bounced around a bit and got some nifty ideas for when I can brain a more complicated pattern.

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all the new year's seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

Huggles, toasts, and blessings of the Heart and Host to all of you.

Just in:

taliesin23 sent you a message on LiveJournal: Dynion Mwyn.
The message was:
You will find this entry about HOME CIRCLE at
http://www.dynionmwyn.net/plagerize.html It will remain there until you
correct the entry you have for Dynion Mwyn:

There have been ugly rumors for years about Zanetta Wilson and others of
Home Circle (a Wiccan Church in Knoxville Tennessee) Their web site
carries slander and defamatory material making untrue statements about
Dynion Mwyn. We have no idea who these people are but suspect they are
minions of Betsy Ashby and/or Fari Gold who have been trying their best
(which is not much) to slander and destroy us. Go below to read about
Betsy who we suspect of being a sociopath/psychopath. An entry we have
found about Home Circle and Zanetta Wilson/Sana Karine involves
Dominant/submissive sexual sexual behavior and Marquis DeSade
Sadomasochism. Not exactly a family friendly group. Our suggestion is to
keep all young people under 21 away from this group. If they will lie
about one thing they will lie about another. So we cannot recommend Sana
Karine/Zanetta Wilson or Home Circle to any prospective pagan for training
or advice.
In Light and Love,
Gwen Boudicca, Elder and Web Mistress of Dynion Mwyn
---

Am I supposed to be afeared that someone might think I'm kinky or something? Jeash. I think the only person who knows me that *doesn't* know I'm kinked is both socially clueless and can't operate Google.

I have half a mind to respond, letting them know that they left out most of the really interesting kinks and all my slash connections. And maybe offering them a discount on some nice FemDom files.

from Elf, in her post here:

"I can't honestly say to the nonPagan public, we are safe; we are not harmful to our members. Because we put our members through hells, dredge their psyches for pain and force them to swallow it and then tell them to ask for more. We dance with demons. Almost always, metaphorical ones. People who get into this stuff the wrong way, or without being balanced just right, or at a rough time in their lives--lose their partnerships of years, lose their jobs, lose their sanity, lose their connection with humanity. They go to jail or turn up homeless. Sometimes, they commit suicide.

While I'd love for us to have a statement we can agree on, decrying sexual abuse, decrying the abuse of minors, phrased in a way to be a useful resource to the media or to members of our community... a lot of the people involved in the discussion don't seem to want that. Or they don't seem to want *just* that. They want a statement that says "we are GOOD and you can TRUST US!"

And you can't. We hurt people. The ones we love and respect most, we demand the most of; they give up *everything* for their spiritual paths. Done right, religious witchcraft *shatters* the lives of its practitioners--and the really talented ones put together a beautiful mosaic out of the pieces. The rest... don't.

I want to look at all those nice curious teens who heard about Wicca on a blog somewhere, and tell them, "go away; there be dragons here." I don't want that message diluted with statements about our ethics, even accurate ones. I really don't want it diluted with feelgood platitudes that imply that all of Pagandom is gentle and supportive and people who get involved with it should never be disturbed at what's going on around them.

Thou Shalt Not Eat Poisoned Bait. If You Do, Don't Come Whining To Me About It."

The individual referred to as "MissThang" in previous events is now on FetLife as "ElenaMcIvor".

File under 'Amusing':
She is "disturbed" someone has been 'lying about her' to "make up with their SO".

File under 'Not At All Amusing':
Pass the warning - she breaks her toys. And doesn't care.
Partial documentation in regards to responsibility/attitude available on my twitter feed from late April (in the @ stream). (If those bits go missing, I've copies.) Additional documentation available.

It's presciousssss.....

Elisem's opened the Shiny Clearance Sale!!

And the Beads of the Month listings are up for next year!!

YEA!!

( Really long whiny-bitchy rambling... )

Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com